A Road Unsuited

by Andrew Pearson

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about

Recorded at Sound Cafe in rural Scotland.

credits

released November 8, 2010

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: I Wish
I wish I could go back to when I was younger
I wish I could be the person I want to be
I wish my heart was stronger
I wish you wouldn't see through me

I wish I never knew no bounds
I wish I could see all the things I've found
I wish at Easter they'd roll me down a hill
I wish I could go home every time I feel ill
I wish I was more like a brick wall
I wish my friends would return my calls
I wish my eyesight was a little bit better
I wish someone would write me a love letter

I wish I was taller about six foot two
I wish when I was young I never knew the things I knew
I wish I was a second generation american jew
I wish I didn't love you but I do

I wish I wasn't scared of spiders and wasps
I wish I was special like a caramel wispa
I wish I had iron in the soul
I wish I was hot like burning coals
I wish I was funny like Woody Allen
I wish I poetic like Leonard Cohen
I wish my jokes never did any harm
I wish I was more able to charm

I wish I was taller about six foot two
I wish when I was young I never knew the things I knew
I wish I was a second generation american jew
I wish I didn't love you but I do

I wish I could go back to when I was younger
I wish I could be the person I want to be
I wish my heart was stronger
I wish you wouldn't see through me

I wish I was a little bit bolder
I wish my blood ran a little bit colder
I wish I could see the truth in everything
I wish I'd been born able to sing
I wish I was a brazilian salsa dancer
I wish there was a question I was able to answer
I wish the morning came later in the day
I wish I could say the things I want to say

I wish I was taller about six foot two
I wish when I was young I never knew the things I knew
I wish I was a second generation american jew
I wish I didn't love you but I do
Track Name: When We Walked
When we walked beneath the stars did the romance of that night
Crush your lungs and your bones like it did mine
Caught in the orange glow of a street light
Your face belied no signs

I did my best to keep you laughing all the time
As we struggled to stumble along in a straight line
I wonder what thoughts were crawling through your mind
I'd like to remove your forehead so I could see inside

A permanent smile creased your face
Was it because you were pleased you were sharing my space
Or were you drowning in the deep end of a drunken daze

Waves are lapping against my shins
Do I dare to paddle because I know when I'm in
The current will drag me out to sea
And you'll be the stone that's tied to me

Your bag was hooked in the crook of your elbow
As you marvelled at the way my drunken words flowed
I don't listen to what I say there's only one thought I know:
'Are you above love cos I reckon I'm below'

One foot in front of the other like we've always done
Seemed so hard after a night having fun
They say the atmosphere weighs about a tonne
Well I can feel every pound between here and the sun

Your phone heavy with texts you dropped
With hair in your eyes like grass upon a clifftop
You scrambled round until you eventually picked it up

Waves are lapping against my shins
Do I dare to paddle because I know when I'm in
The current will drag me out to sea
And you'll be the stone that's tied to me
Track Name: Masquerade
You fall through life's pinball machine
Ricocheting around until your eyes gleam
Forgetting yourself, youth's hopeful dreams
You get frozen and melted and turned into steam
Then one day you inevitably fade
I'm fed up of this masquerade

You' get screamed at in the morning by your alarm
Then thrown out on to society's farm
You do your best to keep out of harm
To stay presentable, to stay warm
To keep fed with the table laid
I'm fed up of this masquerade

You learn to swim and to drive a car
You read the papers and you listen to the charts
You talk to the neighbours about the sun or the haar
You stand in your coattails in front of the registrar

Life is like a knotted piece of string
You can see where it starts and know it must end
But in the middle is just a mess and your fingers can't feel a thing
All I'm left with is my breath and the body that I'm in

You save all insightful comments for your book group
You think you're so bohemian cause you wear t-shirts of Warhol soup
You jump through all of life's little loops
You cheer on bravely our proud troops
You turn up to all their parades
I'm fed up of this masquerade

People higher than you you try to impress
By obsequiously always saying yes
In your spreadsheet mind you define success
By owning cars and holidays in the US
You think you've got it made
I'm fed up of this masquerade

Life is like a knotted piece of string
You can see where it starts and know it must end
But in the middle is just a mess and your fingers can't feel a thing
All I'm left with is my breath and the body that I'm in

Life is like a knotted piece of string
You can see where it starts and know it must end
But in the middle is just a mess and your fingers can't feel a thing
All I'm left with is my breath and the song that I sing
Track Name: If She
I chummed her to the bus stop and waited for her thirty one,
We stood there laughing and I prayed that bus would never come.
She wore her school tie short, shirt, skirt above the knee.
Her tongue was like a trebuchet floating seductive words at me
But my lips were tied it seemed with foolish thoughts
And I gargled garbled words speaking slipping knots
But I tried to keep it all under a facade
With my feet crossed and eyes looking kind of sad.

I’m asking ‘what’s so wrong with my personality?’
Facebook says I’m neurotic so maybe that’s the key.
I’m not so hideous, I’m very nearly funny
So why are girls so repulsed by the sight of me?
I’m lagging ‘cause she’s using up all my memory,
I think I’ll crash if I don’t ask if she likes me

Long walks round Cammo, kicking my mind like rocks.
I’m running out of ammo, I’m forgetting how to talk.
It sounds daft I know and would she be surprised
If I came out with the line “I seek solace in your eyes”?
I go to the woods at night and drink my body weight in cider
And I lie there feeling frightened, really frightened for my future.
She wants to go to Aberdeen, I want to go to Glasgow
But TBH in the end I’ll go wherever she goes.

I’m asking ‘what’s so wrong with my personality?’
Facebook says I’m neurotic so maybe that’s the key.
I’m not so hideous, I’m very nearly funny
So why are girls so repulsed by the sight of me?
I’ll meet her in the hall but I don’t know what to say,
So I stall and falter around a cliché,
I’m lagging ‘cause she’s using up all my memory,
I think I’ll crash if I don’t ask if she likes me.

I’m sitting in this common room playing cards ‘til my eyes dissolve,
Coming to terms with the fact that this equation can’t be solved
And she’s there (unaware) a blonde mirage
And my heart it races like a cavalry charge
‘Cause she’s funny and charming and under no pretence
And she seems to like me and that’s not so irrelevant
But I’m short and spotty and I’ve got curly hair.
I know I’m no Hercules - my strengths lie elsewhere.

I’m asking ‘what’s so wrong with my personality’?
Facebook says I’m neurotic so maybe that’s the key
I’m not so hideous, I’m very nearly funny
So why are girls so repulsed by the sight of me?
I know I’m not cool, I’m just a rock ‘n’ roll geek.
Sometimes I lose control and the ability to speak.
I’ll meet her in the hall but I don’t know what to say,
So I stall and falter around a cliché,
I’m lagging ‘cause she’s using up all my memory,
I think I’ll crash if I don’t ask if she likes me.
Track Name: Bookmarks
We ran down the track to the water tower
And sheltered from the shower.
My guitar was slung over my shoulder
And I played you songs for hours.
The sun fell down around us
And we smoked through the darkness.
We were threatened by a sadness
As the glow ringed our faces.

‘Cause we’ve read the books and we’ve listened to the songs.
Whatever we have now, we both know it won’t last long
So we use our love as a bookmark as we hide in Cammo Park
‘Cause we both know how the story ends.

We walked back to your Daddy’s Lexus.
I felt a twinge in my solar plexus.
As you fiddled with your necklace,
You joked that I was so reckless -
So I took a bite out of my neuroses
And put a hand round your waist
Said ‘you smell of pleuroses’
And pulled you into place.

But we’ve read the books and we’ve listened to the songs.
Whatever we have now, we both know it won’t last long
So we use our love as a bookmark as we drive out of Cammo Park
‘Cause we both know how the story ends.

Maybe I’ll find that I can’t live
My lungs are your now, let me breathe
I walk with your legs and see with your eyes
We’re at the start but know what that implies.

As we drive beneath the trees
The blossom’s blown off by the breeze
To be replaced by pale green leaves,
The seasons never freeze.
I know you’re a competent driver
But up ahead there lies a danger.
We have no illusions of grandeur,
We know that we’ll be injured.

‘Cause we’ve read the books and we’ve listened to the songs.
Whatever we have now, we both know it won’t last long
So we use our love as a bookmark as we drive out of Cammo Park
‘Cause we both know how the story ends.
Track Name: Last Thoughts
Dying with my mind tied in knots
On my face traces of my tears
Nothing in my pockets but disjointed thoughts
And the realisation of my fears
There’s no point in loving once more
I would only be wasting it
As the smoke diffuses under the door
Soon, I will be tasting it

But I don’t mind anymore

Masks line the walls of my jealousy
But they are vacant of all lies
I wish I’d been born in Tennessee
For I’d have no need of this disguise
There are those who live perfumed lives
Their clothes never seem to crease
No matter how I struggle and strive
My pains never seem to cease

But I don’t mind anymore

Nothing to be done, nothing to be done
Except wait for judgement day
There are no words in my life that can be sung
Or my tongue can find to say
I wonder if I’ve left anything behind
Some everlasting note
As the smoke like some ghostly vine
Begins to tie round my throat

But I don’t mind anymore
Track Name: Devils
I sit with my back to the door
And stare into my tomb
Curtains hang down to the floor
And shut out the moon
Photos you used to abhor
Litter the room
My mind like never before
Wants sleep to consume

I dry my eyes with my sleeve
And I try to stand
I have no intentions to leave
I’m fine where I am
I just cannot believe
But I know people can
When I think it’s time to grieve
They say it’s part of His plan

We choose our own levels
And write our stories to tell
We each are our own devils
And we make our own hell.

I cross the room to the window
And gaze through the glaze
Thermometer reads four below zero
And the sky’s a blend of greys
It was not so long ago
I longed for these days
When I didn’t let myself show
My melancholy, my craze

We choose our own levels
And write our stories to tell
We each are our own devils
And we make our own hell.
Track Name: Odd Way Of Saying Things
Don’t turn around and tell me I frown too much,
I can’t bear to hear those words.
Like Icarus, I was nervous to touch –
An attempt to flatter scared you’ll scatter like the birds
Who are already singing and it’s four in the morning
Want to join in with their chorus, fly through the forest with them
Tried to paint you out my memory, like a modern day Branwell Bronte
But like a badly fitted kilt or the pain of guilt you hung around me

I’m cloaked in your haze
Like a lab rat in a maze
Tried to shred you in my head
But you wouldn’t feed through the blades

That’s an odd way of saying things
That’s an odd way of saying things
That’s an odd way of saying things
But you’re not so normal yourself

Your face is an argument in all its violence
Your eyes are flies caught in amber resin
Your words are a murder and I’m the victim,
Would you kill me just one more time?
Don’t shine your torch at me so much,
You might see in to my mind and find out too much
You play me like a violin, Costorphine heroine.
No sword could ever slice your zircon skin.

Can’t climb out of this cage,
I’ve forgotten the sun’s rays,
Tried to shred you in my head
But you wouldn’t feed through the blades

That’s an odd way of saying things
That’s an odd way of saying things
That’s an odd way of saying things
But you’re not so normal yourself
Track Name: Make It Warm
You climb the stairs like a tendril in the volleying breeze
Then pick off the petals in a love me not of some ease
Then turned to the fireplace and looked at me from the corner of your eye
You only used the word ‘one’, you never used the pronoun ‘I.’

Make it warm, close the door, open your arms
Make it warm, close the door, open your arms to me.

You curtail me with your smile for while I’d like to try something new
Every time I meet your eye I find there’s nowhere else I can move
I could sing a thousand sin bin synonyms but none would ever get close to
Expressing the way you take me out of play, watching life from a bird’s eye view

Make it warm, close the door, open your arms
Make it warm, close the door, open your arms to me.

Erstwhile child grown now and defiled by growth he writes
Spinning similes that spiral through the night

Make it warm, close the door, open your arms
Make it warm, close the door, open your arms to me.
Track Name: On Love
It really screws you up, play’s tricks with your mind
Makes you lose all sense of direction, makes you lose all sense of time
Makes you cry out for a sign, some guidance from above
I think they call that love

It makes you overwhelmed by every argument
Makes you misunderstand every sentiment
Marks on you a dent, you’re never going to get rid of
I think they call that love

It makes you go deaf and your eyes go kind of hazy
Makes you see the majesty in the most insignificant daisy
Makes you go crazy, loop-the-loop like a dove
I think they call that love

Gives you the blues, so confused, you know it really gets you down
Throws you into a world where you’re never going to be found
Makes you feel like you’re a clown but you never have enough
I think they call that love